| "get over it" |
[26 Jun 2004|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
they dont have a gay face g.d. |
] |
It's so nice sitting very still,
in a room where no one else can feel
the pain that breaks my heart each day, I'm not ok.
Sunlight shining through my window,
let's me know that I'm still alive
Why did I ever let you inside my heart? I'm such a fool.
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey
and take a seat right next to me
But I should've known that you were a killer. But now I'm dead.
A gaping hole, shot through my heart
A lost connection from your poison dart
Shot from your tounge to end my life.
But if you're blowing at the fire to light your strife.
You'll never know. You'll never know.
The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.
A gaping hole shot...(shot through my heart)
A lost connection from your poison dart.
My head now spins and my ears bleed gold.
I try so fucking hard, but I can't fit your mold.
The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.
You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay
I'll stab you one time.
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?
I wanna kill you. I wanna kill you. Now I'm insane.
Hey just to let everyone know live journals are gay
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[30 May 2004|08:47pm] |
|
im me
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| Some more stuff |
[01 Apr 2004|07:09pm] |
you driving me around in your car
letting you and lexy drive my car
watchin freaky friday in your room and ed allowing it
you eating my mash potatoes
all the times we went to walmart and i didnt need anythin except to see you
when you skipped my bookstudy because you were to afraid to attend then later that night you surprise me by coming over
you coming to watch me play basketball with all the niggas
me and you going to eat at fat boys you love grilled cheese
helpin you make tea at Paul H.s house at that party
drinking your tea you make
circling the airport for hours just to see you
when you try on clothes and show me
going to the art fair with you
even when i was suspended or absent from school i would still come see you
me cutting college early to go with you to fuk yous
ha when you wore your tanner shirt to the beach on labor day
watchin you when i was always on the back porch at brandons
watchin you walk up to my class at the end 5th period
me always scaring black jon for talkin to you
having everyone know that i had the prettiest girl in the world
reno kiss me
eating outback with your family sitting in between you and your dad
50 first dates
sittin in the same chair reading magazines at barns andnobel
talkin with your dad so you know i aint scurrrred of him
you tellin me that you were going to hurt me but i didnt care just to spend another day with you
theres about 15 billion more things but i dont think you care
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[30 Mar 2004|11:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
What am I suppose to do sit there and watch you pass me by I can not do that you mean to much to me and I dont wanna loose you I will do what ever it takes for you not to leave
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| I did a lil calculating |
[30 Mar 2004|01:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
45 years or
16,425 days or
364,200 hours or
23,652,000 minutes or
1,419,120,000 seconds
I will wait however long it takes to be with you
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| Remember the times..... |
[29 Mar 2004|06:55pm] |
My bosses daughter
coffee shop
Disc Golf
Mxpx, Thrice & Thursday, Thursday & Coheed concerts
Hilton
Talking in the rain
Love Actually
Hooters, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Chilies, Outback, Fuk Yous, Chick fli a, Waffel House, Steak and Shake, Picadelli (damn you like food) and theres more
Rundown
The Fair
Phatom of the Opra
Disney World
Driving everywhere
Going to parties
Andrette (made reese mad)
Watching movies at your house with you on the couch
watching Life or something like it at my house
Me buying you roses purse jacket shoes and best thing candy
Laetitia Casta Book
Nights at Brandons
Walking around the mall with you
Talkin on the phone late at night
Seeing you at school
Hugging Kissing and Holding you
Family Guy at katies
Getting caught at your house when no one was home
Airport
The Mathews junk yard
Skipping school and going to your house
waking me up early for no reason
Watching you sew after my exam
Suga Suga
Writing you notes at school
Making shirts at your house
Getting a ticket because i was lookin at you
Times with paul steph, and lexy and travis
It aint gnna lick it self
Our little dumb fights
Many more things but it would be really long
Dont let them end
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| Mae |
[27 Mar 2004|10:57pm] |
I havent been online because whenever we talk its like your talkin to other people and talk to them more so nothing gets said between us
Im sorry for everything I have done to you that upset you in anyway.
You mean the world to me.
I would give the world to you if you would just ask me for it.
I will always be there for you
I need you so bad
I love you
But I dont know about you and if you even care
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| Look at da ass on dat bitch |
[19 Feb 2004|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
Im making a new meaning of the word straight edge its no longer gay you can drink smoke whatever you want
went to francos b day party with tiffany it was intersting
note to self japanese people are really strange and smell
xXx
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| I got it I got it bad |
[18 Jan 2004|11:49pm] |
another journal entry about someone that doesnt have one about me i guess its not mutual
Im fortunate to have you girl
Want you to know
I really adore you
In good and bad times
We'll always make it through
Cause what we have is true
No matter what they say to you
I knew you were the one thats why I chose ya
Id rather show you its heartfelt make your heart melt
And prove to you your more important than anything else
Im gonna be there for whatever you go through.........my love is true
I keep on having these dreams
Waiting for my phone to ring my baby
Wishing that it will be you
But I know that it WONT come true my baby
I think i'll make this my last entry
Thank you for reading and commenting
Goodbye
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| im a sucker for weridos |
[11 Jan 2004|08:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
It’s everything about you makes me feel I have the greatest gift in the world
And even when you get on my last nerve
I couldn’t see myself being with another girl
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| god damn im screwed up |
[09 Jan 2004|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
dont worry about it |
] |
Disorder Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
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| T M H |
[08 Jan 2004|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
Man I havent wrote in this thing in a while I dont think anyone knows though
haha jakey is telling me about how he wants gabrielle and wants to get some from her man hes horny also he asked why I didnt give her any and I told him that Tiffany means to much to me I <3 her
Someone tell me how to put a picture as my backround I want a balck naked man as my backround
I managed to make Tiffany mad tonight and she told me that she quits talking to me isnt that nice I should be talking directly to her because shes the only one I talk about sorry tiffy
alright im out
Now don't you know you you'll always be
The most beautiful girl I know
So let me reassure you darlin that
My feelings are truly unconditional
See I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change, No
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change
for Tiffany ^
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| attention ladies |
[31 Dec 2003|12:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
i have a big announcement to make to everyone
thank you for reading
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[30 Dec 2003|04:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
a p p e a r a n c e
height: 6 ‘1
hair color: blond
skin color: tan
eye color: blue
piercings: no
tattoos: yea right below my belly button it says suck it with a down arrow
r i g h t n o w
what color pants are you wearing?: blue
what song are you listening to?: suga suga
what taste is in your mouth?: butterfingers
what's the weather like?: hot as hell
how are you?: fine as of now
get motion sickness?: I did on a cruise
have a bad habit?: my temper
like to drive?: depends on whos with me
f a v o r i t e s
tv show: Im on the computer to much to watch tv
conditioner: I have no damn clue
book: porn
non alcoholic drink: ha yea non alcoholic
alcoholic drink: I love beer
thing to do on the weekend: hang with tiff and others
h a v e y o u
broken the law: shit yea
ran away from home: no I would need some money from my dad
snuck out of the house: yeaaaaa boy
ever gone skinny dipping: I think
ever tipped over a porta potty: In kurts 240 reese was there <3 she touched me
used your parents' credit card before: they gave me my own
skipped school before: yea and F A ed school because of it/suspensions
fell asleep in the shower/bath: no I would drowned hmm maybe I should
been in a school play: yea I didn’t want a part so I was the guy that was like act 1 and slamed the thingy
l o v e
girlfriend: no I was rejected
sexuality: I like girls
children: sure why not
current crush: Its more then a crush to me
been in love: Idk
had a hard time getting over someone: never got over them and never will and thats a promise
been hurt: the rejection shit
your greatest regret: ha theres a lot probably going out with reese
gone out with someone you only knew for three days: negative on that
r a n d o m
do you have a job: not really my parents supply the money
your cd player has in it right now: In my car its uhhh nirvana maybe
if you were a crayon what color would you be?: black because im half black half white fo sho
what makes you happy: being with Tiffany Mae Hight
who makes you happiest: Tiffany Mae Hight
what's the next cd you're gonna get?: Which ever I make
w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
time you cried: Shit uhhh Sunday because of being rejected
you got a real letter?: never
you got e-mail: I don’t get any
thing you purchased: last thing of real significance was a jacket I bought tiffany
tv program you watched: um senfield
movie you saw in the theater: love actually
y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
abortion: hate it
teenage smoking: don’t bother me
spice girls: whores
dreams: ask me and ill tell you
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| first entry |
[30 Dec 2003|01:32am] |
This is my first entry
thank you
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